In The Beginning

There’s a one-story brown bricked house slightly up on a hill from the street. Trees scattered through the yard along with a wraparound garden. My grandmother would spend all year around maintaining it. She is short and sweet. With short dark brown (now currently grey throughout) hair that clings to her face. She always hadContinue reading “In The Beginning”

You’re Not Alone

During my first two years living entirely alone I disconnected from a lot of people around me. For many different reasons, not all of them personal. I found my time fully consumed. Between stress, work, and being a dad, by the time I got a moment to breathe it was all I could do to musterContinue reading “You’re Not Alone”

6 A.M.

Io.0M What are some triggers any of you discovered about yourselves? Which ones have been the most difficult to cope with? Comment below or message. I awoke this morning to the familiar buzzing of a text message to my phone. Let’s be honest though, I was never really asleep to begin with. I don’t sleepContinue reading “6 A.M.”

6 A.M.

Io.0M   My gut feels nauseous  Sickened by the overload of endorphins flowing through my veins.   The ringing in my head accompanied by a reverberating tempo is deafening.   My body sends chills pulsating head to toe. As my heart, beating harder and faster, tries to break free of this prison cell.   My eyes shut, heavy,Continue reading “6 A.M.”

Rest Stop

Here I am once more. Finding myself stuck, feeling no real direction. Unsure of the next move to make.  When you deal with mental health, these moments are very impactful. It’s like I described in a previous post about being bed ridden from depression. This is the same sensation, on a much smaller scale. I’veContinue reading “Rest Stop”

Self Doubt

Io.0M Lately my days are filled with highs and lows.  I try to maintain focus.  What goes up must come down, I suppose.    I am my own worst critic.  Which makes it hard to feel content.  But is this just a lame excuse?   I feel I must lament.     My head is full ofContinue reading “Self Doubt”

Happiness

I finally understand what it means. As cliché as the phrase is it has changed my life. What people do not say is what you must do before simply “choosing” to be happy. I had to understand I was responsible for my unhappiness. That does not mean I was responsible for everything that had ever happened to me. ItContinue reading “Happiness”

I Lay Awake Sometimes

There you are sitting or lying quietly alone. Your shoulders begin to feel heavy. Eyes begin to water, almost tingling. Sadness slowly rolls over you. Suddenly, you realize you feel…bad? No that doesn’t describe it. Now noticing you’re cold, you become aware something else is happening. “Am I sick?”, you ask yourself. No, you’re not sick.Continue reading “I Lay Awake Sometimes”

Midnight Memories

I underestimate the elusiveness of motivation,  Drive,  and determination.  What is wisdom if not understanding the fact that you know nothing against the peers of your nation.  They ask me, “what do you want to do with the rest of your life?”  As if I could possibly choose one path to commit to for the rest of my days.  AsContinue reading “Midnight Memories”